Friday, February 19, 2010

People Who Affect Moi!

Okay I know I'm a little past due...what can I say I had a busy week so far, strange thing is it ain't even over.  Yeah Ricky I used that word, I know you're not reading this and probable won't cause all you do with computers is business and work stuff...even though you have a facebook you don't even use it.  For a dad who says he's all technology intelligent I guess he's just bluffing!!! It's okay Jen and I know you and we still love you!!! World's Coolest Day or at least I think so, I don't speak for my sister, well sometimes I do!!!

It's amazing at how crazy my week was; Monday I had two classes and in my Domestic Relations Law class we had a group exercise....a mock trial of different kind of parents who fight for child custody...oddly enough yet not surprising MY side won!  I was teamed with another girl on the pro side of Same-Sex couple and I got to keep physical custody of my kids!!!! Beat that Steve (my opponent)!!!

(Left: Dad and His Granddaughter; Audrey) Snugglin' on Grampie For a Nice Little Nap!!!

Tuesday: I had three classes, a test in French which I'm sure I rocked in but mostly boring and uneventful.

Wednesday: I had french and then hung out at Watterson with Bestie Alicia for Bahama Mama's and Long Island's!!!! Swaggin' to hip/hop, Mexican musican and of course 3OH!3 and Cobra Starship...getting ready for the concert, speaking of I need to find an online deal for some sweet Tee's!!! 
I also say my cousin Ali working at Subway...I wish we could hang out more but our schedules are crazy busy!!!

Thursday which is today duh! I had four classes, a Physics quiz and an Employment Law Test....French went quick as usual but my Statistics class was surprisingly very easy for me to understand, better than the others!!! I think I'm getting the hang of it!

Tonight I watched the first show of the ABDC (for those of you illiterate that's America's Best Dance Crew) On MTV...I guess you could kinda say I watched it with my sister cause we were both watching it and texting each other our opinions and comments the entire time....if you're reading this blog Jen maybe it could be "our" Thursday night thang?!   That way we talk weekly and we can enjoy the show more when we comment and giggle in between the boring commercials!!! Cannot wait for next weeks show! 

(Pictures Above Left: My Sister Jen and I @ Michelle's Wedding, Right: Ali and Me...A Few years back!)

My plans for the weekend are work Friday, Saturday and Sunday Night....maybe a party, maybe hit the bars with Mary...IDK yet?  Then of course I got a ton of Homework, one test to study for, 2 projects and a shit ton of reading.

Now on to THIS weeks topic of discussion:
What I mean when I refer to those who've affected me is basically the people in my past that I can remember whose stories or involvement in my life is so dominant that it emotional does or will always have an impact on me...To begin with I would have to mention that there are certain men and certain women both in my families or in my circle of friends that touch me...not to be corny!

  1. Mom
  2. Dad
  3. Ricky
  4. Uncle Ken
  5. Aunt Linda
  6. Jennifer
  7. Bradley and Mitchell
  8. Michelle
  9. Danielle
  10. Audrey

So lets begin with my family....I will start from #10 and work my way up...they're not in chronological order of when I met them or when they came into my life it's mostly random...or at least the family list is!

#10 My brand new baby Niece; Audrey Sway Rundell (Born November 3rd 2009) My Big sister Jen and her husband, my only brother-in-law...still weird for me to say that have brought into my family and adorable sweet and cute baby girl.  I see great potential in her and I know that Jen and Joe will be great parents for her!!! Love them with all my ♥

#9 My older cousin Danielle...she may only be 7 months older than me but I feel that sometimes we experience things around the same time...she was the first cousin I knew and my first friend, my mother has stock of some embarressing halloween photos stashed in her basement.  Her mom, my Aunt Paula; is my mom's youngest sister!!! Recently she got engaged in Hawaii.  Her and Matt welcomed a cute baby boy; Nicholas into the family...second grandchild, man do I feel behind! But not to worry my time will come!!!

(Above Right: Matt and Danielle.)

#8 Michelle is technically a step cousin but feels like my sister too!  Her mom (Aunt Jodee) is my stepdad; Ricky's sister.  Her brother Greg goes to ISU with me....I got to be a bridesmaid in her wedding to Dave which by the way I practically called that!  I knew when I met Dave like 6 years ago that they we're guna get married, It's a talent I mus say!  Michelle is the influence on my to speak French, she is the reason i'm so fluent and it comes so naturally.

(Above Left: Jennifer [Audrey], Me and Michelle @ Melting Pot for my 21st Birthday!)

#7 Bradley and Mitchell!  My loving, goofy and charasmatic Identical Twin Brothers...Born August 9th 2001!!! My mom's second time giving birth...first was natural and second was C-Section (Yeah I don't know how to spell the regular word for that!) Don't Mock!  Although there is a MAJOR age difference between us (12 years) there isn't a difference in our first I was like a second mom, helping my mom out with everything.  Then as they grew older I was kind of like their buddy, when we were at home or out I would goof around with them and play with them.  Now as I flourish into further adulthood i'm becoming still their fun and goofy sister but am trying to teach them things nobody else can and be a good influence on them.  I am loving watching them grow up. ♥

It's so weird to see them fit in my hand and then now they are growing past my waist and will probable soon be towering over me!!!  I would probable have to say that they have the biggest impact on me so far... At first there was a time when my mom almost lost their lives and then when they were about 2 years old while I was babysitting them I had to call 911 because they had such a high flu that one of them had a seizure then a week later the same thing happened to other one both alone on my watch...It wasn't my fault and my mom was really thankful that I was brave and knew exactly what to do.  Forever and Forever Bradley and Mitchell I will love you, Though loud and crazy sometimes you still are the best little brothers in the entire universe!

#6 Jennifer: My only sister and a rollercoaster ride in my life.  Like always we are up and we are down, we loop-the-loop and sometimes go a little too crazy... but no matter what we are always there for each other and always are great get advice from.  We fight, we help each other do our hair and make-up, we talk about boys and are shoulders to cry on for each other.  Although she is technically my stepsister she could not feel more like blood...We were both in the wedding of our Parents (her dad and my mom)...we both had to wear frilly crazy colored flowered dresses and yet it wasn't a bad party!!! It was at the restaurant Meson Sabika!!! Sometimes I wish we were closer and sometimes I wish I could see her more often but our lives are different and they both have amazing personality.  She lived in California and then I moved to Chicago, but no matter what we are Sista's fo Life!!!

#5 Aunt Linda: My Aunt Linda is my mom's other older sister, yes my mom is stuck in the middle just like I am, coincidence? I think not!  Still my Aunt Linda feels like my second mom...I can talk with her, go out and have fun with her and my mom at a country bar and jam to Brad Paisley!!! She is always there to share all my accomplishments, my shows and performances and sports competitions.  She yes SHE lives just 2 houses down from my momma's house in Plainfield!  She is someone who cries at each birthday, makes Christmas worth every minute with her being there and of course her cookies and pies.

I feel so lucky and so blessed to have an amazing aunt like her and someday I hope to be a good as aunt as her for Audrey.  I know that I can always talk to her about anything even if sometimes my mom and I are arguing or on bad terms for a bit, which thank god never happens anymore...I definatly was a rebel teen with my mom but she knows I love and appreciate her, and I love my Aunt Linda just as much....I cannot wait to go home and see them in 2 weeks!!!  I hope that maybe there will be more baking or scrape booking or maybe more of their crochet'd projects to show off!!!

(Above Right: My Uncle Ken, me and My Aunt Linda on my 21st!)

#4 My Uncle Ken:  Aunt Linda's Husband and someone who is like my Dad as well... He is the uncle that I am most close with, someday when I get married I plan on asking him to give me away at my wedding seeing as how my real Dad; Joseph Scott (Bless his Soul) won't be able to...Though then again I kinda want to ask my stepdad, Ricky.  Truth be told I am torn, but I don't need to worry much about that quite yet.  My Uncle Ken is the coolest guy ever, him and I can have some pretty deep conversations and always is there for me too! 

He supports most everything I do and of course watches out for me when some guy is breaking my heart or isn't the best one for me.  For future boyfriends out there the opinion that matters the most and is vital when it comes to being with me is my Uncle Ken's, if he doesn't like you, approve of you and can't have a serious conversation with you or better yet can't watch a football game with your or maybe play a round of golf with you...there is NO hope for a relationship with me.  I care most about what he thinks of me when it comes to my social life, my school and etc. alongside my mother's concern!

(Right: My Dad and I @ My Plainfield Central H.S. Graduation Party '07!)

#3 Ricky: I am the only person allowed to refer to my stepdad as Ricky.  I am the only single solitary person to call him that out loud, though when I introduce him to people I say, "This is my dad Rick!"  I have to say that honestly it took me a loooooooooonnnnnnnng time to call him dad, let alone refer to him as my dad and introduce him as that.  But I do finally and I think he's proud of that! He has been the dominant male father figure in my life besides's my uncles Ken and Tony.  He's been in my life since I was 3, he married my mom when I was 8 and has taught me so many things.  He was there when I started and graduated from High School, he was there on the nights of my prom to see me all fancied and dolled up, he was there when I got my driver's license and yes was there when I got into my first accident.  My dad was there when I started college and moved away from home (twice), he helped me move!  He was there when I had my first drink.  Every Christmas and Thanksgiving he cuts the turkey/ham and I cannot wait to call him the grandfather to my children!

#2 My Dad; Joseph Scott Keller.  My real Dad Joe unfortunatly is not with me anymore...This is the part of my diary where I confess the biggest most emotional secret I carry with me, yes no matter how much time passes, no matter how many good or bad stories I hear about him and no matter how many times I stare at his picture which as been next to my bed since his death, I will always begin to cry.  I cry whenever I'm with my dad's family, I cry whenever my mom shows me pictures, or things from when I was baby.  Just this past Christmas my mom uncovered a whole box full of Birthday, Christmas, Easter, Valentine's and Baby shower cards all from the two of them.  So here's the short version of the only tragic part of my life;  My parents divorced when I was 2 years old, and when I was 8 years old just ten days after my mom's wedding to Rick we recieved a phone call from the hospital...My dad had died in a horrific car accident where the truck he was driving rolled off the road and killed him almost instantly.  The funeral was very emotional and sad for me, I almost couldn't even go up to his casket to say goodbye, some days I feel I havn't said goodbye and that I won't because I feel that he is with me in my heart everyday. 

(Left: My Grandma Miller and only a few of my cousin's on my dad's side. Above Right: The last picture I ever took with my dad, I believe it was taken in 1995.)

It's been years since I've been to his grave which I beat myself up about alot.  Everytime I visit his side of my family which isn't that often, everyone seems so much older and different.  There have been marriages, divorces, children being born, my cousin Brent getting shipped to Afganistan in the Army and High School Graduation Ceremonies and thousands of birthdays in the past 13 years without me.  I've tried to go to as many Christmases and Thanksgiving and family parties as much as I can...When I'm out of college I will definatly be visiting more. 

The strangest thing that happens when I visit is that everyone always thinks I look so much like him.  I kind of see it but mostly I see my mom!  Most recently my cousin Ali thinks I act and my personality is much more like my Aunt Pam, who is my dad's youngest sister and the youngest sibiling in my dad's family.  I always keep them in my hearts and thoughts especially my dad's mom; Gen Miller, for years she has been struggling with MS and I hope that I am there with her until the end, if I were to miss saying goodbye to here I would be devastated.

Finally #1 Yes it's my Mom; Dianne Sandra Carobus!  I probable should have an entire separate blog to talk about how much my mom as an impact on my life besides the obvious.  Seeing as how i've been writing this blog for official 2 hours i'm just guna wrap it up with a few brief things about my mom.  I am 100% just like her mini-me, I sound like her on the phone, we both love Country music, we both love to cook and scrapbook.  We love taking photos of everything, we have done just about everything together except go to Vegas or Paris...which will soon come.  I miss her so much everyday it hurts, I love her for guidance, support and advice.  I tell her everthing. 

I am so blessed to have such an amazing bond and relationship with my mom, being her first child, her only daughter I feel that at sometimes I am spoiled, and that's okay with me!!  I owe her everthing and I honestly don't know how do thank her or show her exactly how much I appreciate her...I do everything I do to make her proud, she as been there at every critical moment in my life, she held my hand when I first walked, she takes of me when I'm sick.  She teaches me how to be a better woman.  She supports my dreams and helps me accomplish my goals when it comes to school...She knows that I am independent, driven and ambitious. 

She was there when my dad died and would comfort me at night when I would wake up in tears.  She collects ornaments about me to decorate her Christmas tree with.  She always has the coolest homemade Birthday cards and has made my birthday cake for 21 years!  She made many of halloween costumes and helped me make my first prom is because of her that I am such a great sewer (well her and my Aunt Linda).  We have the same excellent taste in Broadways and Musicals and took me to New York to see a Fashion School and RENT!!!!  She let me go to Paris my sophomore year of High School...She has understood my driving issue and has helped me learn to be better.

Mom since you are now a follower on my blog, please try not to cry when you read know it's all true...I am so absolutly thankful and appreciatve of you and who you are! Even though you are my one and only mine (YES MINE) I still believe that you are the greatest mom and girl could ever ask for.  You bought me Barbie Dolls, American Girl dolls and the cutest dresses!  You bought me my first car and went to every single dance, cheerleading and gymnastic show.  You've taken me on the most amazing family vacations ever and let me have my first dog that I could take care of (Shika R.I.P ♥)!!!!

(Right: My mom and I in Literally Last February in Aruba!)
Mom I love you and no matter how old I get, no matter how far away I live or am I will always be thinking of you and I will always be your little girl!  I cannot wait till the day comes when you get to help me plan my wedding, help me buy my first house and my own car and more importantly the day when I get to make you a grandmother (blood grandmother)!!!

Well ya'll thanks for tuning in!  Tomorrow I think I will write a shorter blog don't worry, about the friends who are most important to me!

Peace & ♥


  1. I love you too Sweetie!! Oh, yeah and by the way, the boys birthday - 8-9-2000. Just a small correction - yes, they are nine years old now... :)


  2. First of all, the things you said about your mom made me very happy... due to the things that happened in your life and the struggles you went through, I think it was hard for you to see and express those things and I always hoped you would get to that point because not everyone has a mom that can do so much for their child... you are truly blessed for that! Also, while I must admit that I'm jealous that Dad was there for you for so many things throughout your life, and he wasn't for so much of mine, I am glad that he was there for at least one of us... and while we can both admit that Dad can be a real butt-head sometimes, he really does try to be the best Dad he knows how to be.

    Lastly... it is true that we have not always been super close, it was always up and down, from the time you were three. I want you to know that it killed me to move to CA and be so far away from you and our brothers, but it was the only thing I felt I could do at the time to better myself. The few years before that I think we were both going through so much in our lives, and I feel like I was battling with so much, I couldn't really be the best sister to you because I wasn't really the best even for myself. The past few years since I moved back I feel like we have gotten closer than we ever have. I think that it's not only due you becoming more of an adult, but also me being comfortable in my life and my own skin. I love you more than I could've ever loved any other sister that God could have given me. I only hope to getter closer to you as the years go by and that you know you can come to me for anything. (BTW, looks like you got some blogging tips from mine by using the photos the way you did... makes it look nice doesn't it... has more of an impact.)